I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
