consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
