I'm really into asian looking animals
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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