I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
