Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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