she woke up with a sticky ear
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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