Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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