we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
