Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
