she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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