i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
