Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
