"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
