Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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