So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
