no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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