dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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