it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
