Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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