I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
