We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Your penis caused this!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
