It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
