Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
