I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
