And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
