and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize