I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
