dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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