I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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