found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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