Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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