DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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