I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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