So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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