he thought i was a dude.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
