dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
