His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
