He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
