she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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