Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
smell my finger.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
as a side note pls kill me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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