Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
