Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
