My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
