she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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