Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
