how can u be prego again
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
