im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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