Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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