He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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