Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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