Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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