Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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