you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
