I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
