So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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