it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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