You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
